


the end of the world (as we know it)

by thebestworstthing



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, At the end anyway, Blood, Bombs, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gay Aliens, Getting Together, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Lance is far too superstitious for his own good, Langst, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Near Death Experiences, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), So are Allura and Coran, Team as Family, based on a grey's anatomy episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-26 17:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebestworstthing/pseuds/thebestworstthing
Summary: "There’s a look people get in their eyes. There’s a scent; the scent of death. Some kind of sixth sense.When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming.What’s the one thing you’ve always dreamed of doing before you die?"(in which Lance has a feeling™, comforts a distressed alien and an already bad day just keeps getting worse before it gets better)





	1. im not a mind reader but i can see the end from here

**Author's Note:**

> i took a lot of dialogue in this from episode 2x16 and 2x17 of grey's anatomy so yeah check that out it's my favourite episode so there was only so long until i wrote something like this
> 
> i'm 90% certain someone wrote something similar to this once??? i remember reading it?? but i can't find it so maybe i dreamt it ??? idk

_There’s a look people get in their eyes. There’s a scent; the scent of death. Some kind of sixth sense._

_When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming._

_What’s the one thing you’ve always dreamed of doing before you die?_

**

 

Keith is rather rudely awoken by someone banging incessantly on his door, he mumbles a noise of consent and the door opens to reveal Pidge, holding a box of alien cereal, and still wearing her pyjamas. She sneezes into the crook of her arm before turning to glare at him.

 

“Get up, we’ve got a mission. And there’s something wrong with Lance.”

 

 _Something wrong with Lance?_ Keith is running through scenarios in his head of all the trouble the blue paladin could have got himself in and is half way to panicking when Pidge picks up on this and says.

 

“He’s not hurt, just refusing to get out of bed for some reason – something about having a _feeling_.” The emphasis placed on the last word implies that she thinks he’s just being melodramatic and Keith rolls his eyes.

 

“Typical.” He mutters as Pidge laughs and leaves to offer him the privacy to change into his armour.

 

Keith makes it to Lance’s room just in time to hear him say “ _I’m not going_.” in a rather exasperated voice.

 

“You have to go. You’re a paladin, defending the universe isn’t optional.” Hunk says, Keith watches from the doorway beside Pidge as he tries to gently tug Lance out of bed.

 

“Yes, it is.” Lance pulls the blanket up to cover his face. “I’m staying here.”

 

Hunk sighs, then catches site of Pidge and Keith and says, “ _You’re supposed to be helping_.” In a tone that doesn’t suggest room for argument. Keith, scared of Hunk despite his usually cheery personality, steps further into the room. Pidge, who has known Hunk for much longer and knows that the other would never be angry at her, turns and walks away.

 

Typical.

 

Keith moves to sit on the edge of the bed, besides Lance’s feet. “Uh, Lance?” he starts awkwardly and Hunk fixes him with a glare. “Maybe they’ll be lots of hot girls there, and after we save them they’ll be all over you?” Keith suggests and Hunk rolls his eyes.

 

 _Well_ , Keith thinks almost bitterly, _it’s not like I know what I’m supposed to say_.

 

“I don’t care about girls.” Lance says and, _wow,_ this must be serious if Lance will turn down the option to flirt with hot girls in favour of staying in bed. Lance grabs a spare pillow from the bed and pulls it over his head, effectively cutting off any form of communication.

 

Hunk sighs again, stands up and moves past Keith out of the door, muttering for Keith to stay with Lance, and then he’s gone. Keith looks down the hallway where Hunk disappeared and then back to Lance, he’s just about to turn and walk away to leave Lance to sulk in his own misery when he spots Pidge walking back towards him, now dressed in her armour.

 

“Go get food or something, I’ll deal with this.” She says, holding her bayard in a way that implies she may actually intend to use it. All of a sudden, Keith is _really_ glad he’s not Lance.

 

“I’ll stay, just to make sure you won’t kill him.” He says, and Pidge smirks before turning her attention to the lump on the bed.

 

“You have a feeling?” She asks, Lance moves the pillow from over his head and props himself up on an elbow to look at her with fluffy, bedraggled hair and a far too serious face.

 

“Yes.” He says. Pidge steps slightly closer.

 

“Okay, what kind of feeling?” She asks, voice calm and even but Keith can tell from her defensive body language that she thinks this is stupid.

 

“Like I might die.” Lance says while flopping back down to lie on his side.

 

“Today? Tomorrow? In fifty years?” Pidge questions, Hunk appears to stand behind Keith, now also dressed in his armour. “Cause we’re all gonna die eventually. And now we’re late for the meeting. Let’s go.”

 

“ _Pidgeee_ , come on.” Lance whines.

 

Pidge sighs and rolls her shoulders, before moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “Fine. This is me being supportive.” She fixes him with a glare that does definitely not look supportive.

 

“Really?” Lance says, voice muffled by blankets. Pidge’s face softens.

 

“Yeah, hey, fine. I’m totally supportive. What’s up?” Lance pokes his head out from the blanket cocoon again.

 

“I just have a _feeling_. I just woke up with this gut instinct that something bad is going to happen today. And that something bad will be me. Dying. And what use am I if I’m dead?” Lance takes a deep breath and sits up. “And I can’t remember the last time I hugged my mom. Cause, like, you never think the last time will be the last time, you think there’ll be more, but there won’t. You think you’ve got forever, but you don’t. What if we get back and they’re all dead?” Lance flops back down as his voice cracks like he might start crying. “Plus, my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I’ve got brittle bones. I just, I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.”  
  
  
Pidge stands up thoughtfully for a second, before yanking the sheets away from Lance who squawks in indignation. “Whatever,” She begins, “We all have problems.” She jumps up onto the bed behind him. "Now move! Move! _Move! **Move!**_  " She punctuates each word with a kick to Lance’s back, until the blue paladin rolls out of bed with a muffled shout and a few colourful curse words.

 

Pidge jumps of the bed and throws Lance his armour, “Get ready.” She mutters. Lance storms into the bathroom and changes in record time before walking out of the door, giving Keith and Hunk disapproving looks as he passes them.

 

“We’re good to go.” Pidge says, following Lance out of the door and it slides shut behind them.

 

**

 

“Quiet planet.” Allura mutters under her breath, arms folded over her chest and face contorted into a worried look.

 

“I know.” Coran says, reading the screens in front of him.

 

“That’s always a bad sign.” Allura mutters again, changing the monitor screen to show something different.

 

“I know that too,” Coran murmurs back. “Don’t you think I know that?”

 

“What’s so bad about a quiet planet?” Shiro asks from behind them. “I thought that would be a good thing, less trouble?”

 

“A quiet planet means the _opposite_! A quiet planet means trouble! A quiet planet is death! A quiet planet bodes bad news!” Coran says, volume increasing with every sentence and eyes open comically wide. His hands wave in a gesture Shiro can’t interpret.

 

“But why?” Shiro asks, frowning.

 

“Because a planet should never be quiet. A planet in this system should be sending out regular signals to nearby planets, ships should be orbiting around it, there should be people! People doing interesting and important things! But you know what this planet has?” Coran pulls up a screen showing the surface of the planet, bold blue plants, and bright pink skies. “ _Nothing._ No signs of life for a quarter of a decafeeb, until now. Now _that_ is bad news. It means something terrible has happened.”

 

“So, is that where we’re going today?” Shiro frowns looking at the monitors, most of the text is in Altean but he’s picked up enough to understand that this isn’t good.

 

“I’ll explain more when the other paladins arrive. Speaking of, where are–” Allura is cut off by the sound of the door opening and the sound of chatter as the remaining four paladins arrive. “Where the quiznack have you been? This meeting was scheduled for 1000 and it’s now,” She pauses to glance at the screen. “1030. What if this had been an emergency?”

 

“If it had been an emergency, you would have sounded the alarm.” Pidge chimes in. Allura narrows her eyes but doesn't challenge the green paladin.

 

“I called you in because this morning we received a rescue signal from a planet that has seen so signs of life for a quarter of a decafeeb and has been presumed to be dead.”

 

“A quarter of a decafeeb? Isn’t that, like, two years?” Lance asks.

 

“Yeah, I think so.” Pidge says, squinting her eyes at the screens.

 

“That’s nowhere near long enough to presume everyone died, is it? What if they were just hiding? In bunkers or something where no signals would detect them?” Lance says and Shiro frowns because he made a good point.

 

“That’s why we’re going to check it out, in case there are actual people down there who may need our help. And, besides,” Allura changes the monitor. “The Akori were once very powerful allies. They were inventors of magnificent weapons and advanced technologies that could be of significant use in the fight against Zarkon.”

 

“We’ll go in the lions, in case of any danger, and scope the area out from the ground. Allura and Coran, are you okay to watch from above and provide backup, if needed, in the castleship?” Shiro asks.

 

“That will be fine.” Allura says and Shiro gives the order for the paladins to head to their lions.

 

All of them move immediately aside from Lance, who chooses to stand still and stare at the screens showing the planet.

 

“You all right?” Shiro frowns.

 

“I have a feeling.” Lance responds, brow pulled tight. Shiro knows exactly what he means, he’s woken up many times with the inexplicable feeling that something will go completely wrong, but more often than not, he’s proven wrong.

 

“I get those.” Shiro looks the blue paladin up and down, there are dark circles under his eyes suggesting he didn’t sleep well last night.

 

“And?” Lance asks quietly.

 

“If you wait long enough, it passes.” He says in way of comfort, because there isn’t much else he can say, nothing that’ll work anyway.

 

“Promise?” His voice is soft and vulnerable.

 

“Promise.” Shiro says with all the confidence he can muster. Lance nods and walks away, Shiro watches him with a pensive look.

 

“Shiro, what are you doing?” Allura asks from her position in the control deck. He sighs and turns to walk towards the hanger.

 

“Waiting for it to pass.” He mutters. Any response Allura may have is lost as he follows the zipline down towards his lion.

 

**

 

Just as expected, the planet is quiet upon entry. It looks different to the pictures Coran had showed them, more similar to earth in terms of colours. The plants are green, not blue, and the sky is a soft orange colour, like that of an earth sunset. It makes Lance’s chest ache with nostalgia.

 

There’s a village up ahead, small white houses built on the edge of a hill with larger, sturdier, buildings built towards ground level. From where they are, it appears to be empty, then, something explodes. A giant fireball shoots up towards the skies and a building crumbles before flames slowly begin to cover it.

 

“ _That looks like trouble._ ” Shiro’s face appears in the corner of the screen.

 

“ _Let’s go check it out._ ” Keith appears now. Shiro verbalises his consent and Lance flies along with his team towards the site of the explosion.

 

The first thing they notice is that there are Galra soldiers running up and down, firing their guns and randomly blowing stuff up. There is already a large amount of Akorins sprawled on the floor, Lance is unsure how many of them are dead. A small group is trying to fight and is situated towards the higher end of the hill, firing shots down to the Galra but they are obviously inexperienced with their weapons as the majority of the shots miss.

 

“ _Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do._ ” Shiro’s voice is clear against the muffled shots from outside. “ _Keith and I will try and fight the Galra from down there, Hunk and Pidge, go help as many of the injured as you can and Lance, go help them fight from up there._ ”

 

“Affirmative.” Lance says, hiding blue in a section of dense foliage and ignoring the other confirmations from his teammates. He jetpacks out of his lion and quickly makes his way up. He shoots at any Galra that get in his way and helps any Akorins that he finds. They all seem in awe of the paladins, too caught up in the notion that Voltron is real to be scared of them which is a relief.

 

Eventually, he finds his way to the fighters, there’s only a half dozen of them but there is also a body lying on the ground. Lance tries hard not to look at it. The Akorins are tall, elegant looking beings with long limbs and nimble fingers, he can see how they’d be good at engineering. They’re humanoid in shape, skin a soft peach colour with intricate pale pink designs tracing their skin. Honestly, each one looks beautiful.

 

Lance introduces himself and offers his help, they accept it without a fight and show him into the hideout they’ve made. It’s a small bunker with widows for aiming their weapons out of, he takes a place by one of the windows and falls into the repetitive motion of aiming and shooting, until each soldier is lying dead.

 

Usually, something like that would upset Lance, killing so mercilessly, but now he’s just glad that nothing terrible has happened. The feeling still sits in his stomach, prompting him to check over his shoulder every so often, just in case.

 

Shiro gives the order to look around, checking for any soldiers lying in wait, but the village is small and they find nothing, thankfully.

 

Now, all that’s left is to clean up the mess.

 

The paladins meet in what appears to be the town centre, it’s mostly lying in ruins but the Akorins don’t seem to be disturbed by this as they run around, pulling survivors from wreckages and moving bodies ready for burial.

 

An alien in royal purple robes holding a gold-plated staff identifies himself as the leader. “Thank you for providing assistance in this fight.” He says with a deep, gruff voice. “The Galra crash landed on our planet, probably after assuming it was uninhabited, and decided to attack us for our supplies. We were not expecting help after we placed protective wards around the entire planet to make it seem deserted.”

 

“It’s our honour.” Shiro says. “Do you know why the Galra crash landed?”

 

“I know not, however, I do know that they were alone, otherwise backup would have arrived by now.” The leader responds.

 

“Okay.” Shiro pauses, uncertain. “Are there any other ways in which we can help?”

 

“The hospital must surely be overrun, we already had a limited supply of doctors. Perhaps you can help us there?” Shiro nods in agreement.

 

“Of course, Your Highness.” He replies and follows the leader down a winding path towards a large white building, decorated with a pink swirl across one side.

 

Inside the hospital is carnage, each room holds six beds and, in each room they pass, every bed is full. There are only a couple of doctors running around the rooms, administering gauze and injections and other surgical procedures. They reach what appears to be a central room in the hospital, a large circular room that stretches up to the top of the building, allowing light in through the glass roof. On each floor, Lance can see people running around, he’s suddenly very aware of why the leader suggested they come here.

 

The leader turns to face them. “Black paladin, you are good with younglings, correct?”

 

Shiro stutters. “Uh, yeah?”

 

“Then you shall help in the paediatrics ward, sixth floor. Red paladin, you are determined and instinctive, you shall help in the resuscitation ward, floor five. The nurses will tell you what to do.” Keith looks nervous but nods anyway. “Yellow paladin, you are easy going and caring, you shall work on the third floor, providing comfort to grieving families and assistance when needed.” Hunk nods. “Green paladin, you are a quick thinker and good at solving problems, you shall work on the second-floor ward where non-essential patients are diagnosed and treated. Do not be afraid to ask for assistance or to think outside the box.” Pidge nods, a look of steeled determination in her eye. “Blue paladin, you are calm under pressure and a tactical thinker, you shall help in the emergency ward on the first floor.”

 

Lance is fully aware that none of them have the slightest knowledge about medicine, but the leader directs them to a nurse who quickly gives a basic summary of what to do in different situations, how to use certain equipment and other necessities. Lance forgets half of it immediately, but at least Akori biology is similar to human biology so he’s not entirely lost.

 

The paladins bid their farewells before being ushered off to their own separate duties. It doesn’t take Lance long to find the emergency ward, the loud commotion and beeping of several machines gave it away fairly early on. He turns the corner and is faced by an almost overbearing number of things, the room is larger than any they’d seen so far and lined with about twice as many beds, each filled with patients in different conditions.

 

The bed closest to him has a young Akori female laid in it, she’s surrounded by nurses, a small pool of blood has gathered under the bed. Beside her bed, another Akori female stands, she’s screaming loudly and continuously, to the point where it’s almost deafening and Lance is wondering how she is managing to breath properly.

 

A nurse catches him looking and says, “Go help her calm down, she’s been screaming at least 30 minutes and she’s starting to show signs of respiratory distress. Find out what happened to make her that upset.”

 

Lance looks back towards the screaming alien and his stomach sinks, _how an earth will I do that?_

 

He’s on his way over when he hears one of the doctors say, “ _why do you have your arm inside my patient?_ ” He turns to look, and sees a gloved arm wrist deep in the chest cavity of the first patient he saw and covered in blood up to the elbow. The arm belongs to a female Akori who’s obviously trying not to cry, her face is pinched tight with stress. “ _She wouldn’t stop bleeding and I panicked._ ” Lance almost feels bad for her until he decides that isn’t his problem, finding out what’s distressing the screaming woman is.

 

He approaches her slowly and she watches him, still screaming. Lance holds his hands out in the universal position to show he isn’t a threat and asks her what her name is. She still continues to scream.

 

Lance tries asking her what happened but the only response he gets is another scream. He recognises the signs of shock and realises that to get any response, he needs to do something to shock her equally as much. With a resigned sigh, he grabs her by the shoulders and screams as loud as he can. It works, she falls silent. Unfortunately, so does the rest of the emergency ward. After a split second, the sound resumes, the woman remains silent until she looks at Lance, purple eyes wide with fear, and says “Is she going to die?”

 

At the minute, Lance doesn’t know. He tells her that, and follows it by saying that he’ll get an update as soon as possible. He leads her to sit down on a wooden chair a few meters away from the bed. “Are you injured?” He asks.

 

“I don’t think so?” She says in between sobs. Lance awkwardly wraps an arm around her to comfort her, and she leans forward against his shoulder. “It’s all my fault.” She mutters.

 

Lance watches as they wheel the patient out for surgery, the females arm still inside her chest. “It’s not your fault. It’s the Galra’s fault, they’re the ones who decided to attack you. Don’t blame yourself.”

 

“No,” She sobs louder. “You don’t understand, I shot her.”

 

Lance frowns. “You shot her? Why?”

 

“We were trying to help and we found a bazooka, we tried firing it at the Galra but it was clearly-” _hic_ “-broken, and-” _hic_ “-it wouldn’t fire so she-” _hic_ “-went to stand in front to-” _hic_ “-see what was wrong.” She takes a long deep breath. “It went off then, she was just lying on the ground and wouldn’t move and, _quiznack_ , I did that to her?” The woman resume her crying but Lance’s mind is whirring.

 

“She was shot with a bazooka?” He asks, carefully.

 

“Yeah.” She hiccups out.

 

“Okay,” He says slowly, trying to think. “What’s your name?”

 

“Carie” She responds, quietly.

 

“Okay Carie, what’s your relation to her?” He asks to calm her down because what he’s next about to ask will definitely make her feel worse.

 

“She’s my girlfriend.” Carie says, thick tears dripping from long eyelashes.

 

“Okay.” Lance pauses, trying to think of the right wording to use. “Was there an explosion after she was shot? Did the bazooka go off?”

 

Carie thinks for a second. “No, I don’t think so.” There’s a split second where he can practically see her think. “You don’t think?” She begins but Lance cuts her off.

 

“Whatever happens will be okay, but I need you to go and wait on the third floor, I will come find you when I get any news, good or bad. Okay, Carie?” She nods slowly and Lance stands, trying not to look like he’s rushing to avoid worrying her more.

 

“Excuse me,” He asks a nurse, “Can you direct me to the operating room, I need to speak with the surgeon who is operating on that patient.” He points towards the space where she was laid.

 

“Downstairs, room 09.” The nurse responds curtly after checking something on the device she’s holding.

 

“Thanks.” He says while turning around, already running.

 

Lance sprints out of the room narrowly avoiding head-on colliding with a doctor who shouts at him to slow down. He doesn’t. Lance reaches the stairwell and leaps down as many as he can at a time, he stumbles at the bottom and his ankle twists awkwardly, pain shoots up it. He doesn’t stop running, he can’t.

 

The OR room is similar to the earth ones he’d seen on TV, it’s sterile, clean and smells too much like bleach. He bursts in just as the surgeon is about to make the first cut.

 

“Stop!” He shouts, so out of breath it comes out as more of a wheeze.

 

“Why?” The surgeon sounds angry, but places the scalpel down anyway.

 

“I need to talk to you.” Lance says, “It’s important.”

 

“You’re not even permitted to be down here, you better have a damn good reason for interrupting me in my OR.” His voice is strict but there’s an air of worry that Lance can detect.

 

“Was the wound through-and-through?” Lance whispers as the surgeon makes his way over towards the door.

 

“What?” The surgeon is confused, face scrunched up in a way Lance would usually find endearing.

 

“The wound on the patient, does it go straight through?” He asks again, more insistent this time.

 

“No, it was just an entry, no exit. Why?”

 

“Because everyone in this hospital is now in danger.” Lance says with a frown. “There is an unexploded bomb in her body. She was shot with a bazooka.” He explains.

 

The surgeon looks pensive. “Marje, can you feel anything with your fingers?” He asks the woman with her hand inside the chest. Marje frowns, and shifts slightly. “ _Don’t move!_ ” The surgeon snaps at her. “Can you feel anything hard, like metal?”

 

“Yeah, I think so. It’s cold, should it be cold?” Marje asks and Lance sighs before sharing a look with the doctor.

 

“Sarki, go and find the chief nurse. Tell her to inform every hospital personnel we have a code-black situation and to evacuate every non-essential person, tell her I am certain and to call the bomb squad.” The doctor named as Sarki nods and walks out of the door. The surgeon turns back to Marje. “Whatever you do, don’t move. Not your hand, not your body. Not an inch.”

 

“What’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.” Marje asks, Lance knows she was already scared, he doesn’t want to say this, to frighten her anymore, because if she panics, everyone in that room will die. The entire hospital could be blown apart.

 

“Don’t be scared Marje. Everything is going to be fine.” The surgeon insists.

 

“Doctor Kaarshi, why are you calling the bomb squad?” She asks, there are tears in her eyes now and she looks to be hyperventilating.

 

The surgeon – Doctor Kaarshi – turns to look at Lance before nodding slightly. “There is an unexploded bomb inside her body. Marje, you cannot move otherwise you risk endangering every single person in this hospital.”

 

Marje freezes, her face contorts with fear. “Oh god,” She mutters, “ _oh god._ ”

 

“What do we do now?” A voice calls from the back of the room. Doctor Kaashi frowns.

 

“We wait for the bomb squad to arrive,” He gestures between himself and Marje, “The rest of you leave. You _all_ leave.”

 

One by one, the surgical team trails out, until only Lance and the doctor identified as Sarki remain. “You should go.” Doctor Kaashi says, taking a place beside the head of the patient to ensure her oxygen supply remains constant.

 

“I’m not leaving.” Sarki says. “You still need a surgical team.”

 

“I’m staying to help.” Lance says, crossing his arms across his chest and daring Doctor Kaashi to argue. He made a promise to Carie, he’s not going back on that.

 

“ _Fine._ ” He says after a second, “But you remain by the stairway until the bomb squad have cleared the room, I don’t want anybody who doesn’t need to be here in this OR.”

 

Lance nods his consent and follows Sarki out of the room until they’re stood by the stairs, she crosses her arms across her chest and frowns at him.

 

“How did you figure it out? The bomb thing?” She asks after a second.

 

“I was talking to the patient’s girlfriend and she mentioned the bazooka, how she was accidentally shot. I just put the pieces together, I guess.” Sarki nods at his answer.

 

“You potentially saved a lot of lives today, Blue paladin.” She responds.

 

“I know.” Is all Lance can think to say, it doesn’t seem like enough somehow. “They were just trying to help, she doesn’t deserve this.”

 

“I know.” Is Sarki’s only response. “Can you imagine how terrifying it must be for Marje though? Quiznack, what was she thinking sticking her hand inside the wound?”

 

“She was trying to save her life.” Lance responds quietly while leaning back against the wall. Sarki moves to stand beside him.

 

“And now she might die because of it.” She says after a moment.

 

**

 

Keith is _not_ having a good time. First of all, one of his patients died, which really sucks, and _now_ he’s stuck with an old woman whose heart keeps deciding to stop beating every twenty minutes.

 

In between almost dying, he did find that she was really nice to talk to though.

 

The woman had been saying that she doesn’t want to die until she sees her husband again, which Keith found quite sweet really, but he was just so _bored_. And then, the doctors had found a brain bleed so he was stood in the surgical room, just as bored, but with an alien’s brain open on the table in front of him.

 

God, he’s really, truly, a terrible person.

 

A nurse checks her vitals. He’s monitoring her blood pressure when the tablet he’s holding beeps. He frowns, mutters something that sounds suspiciously like a curse word and looks up at Keith.

 

“They want us to evacuate.” The nurse says, slowly.

 

“Evacuate? Why?” Keith asks, wondering what on earth could have happened.

 

“I’m not sure, the message just said ‘evacuate – code black’ and I’ve never heard of a code black. Code red, pink, blue and orange; yes. Code black; nope.”

 

The surgeon looks up when he says that and freezes. “Code black? Are they sure?”

 

“Yeah I presume so?” The nurse says. “Don’t know why they’d lie about it.”

 

Keith swallows the urge to laugh.

 

“It could be a drill, even if it isn't we can’t evacuate. Or this patient will die.” The doctor turns around, removing her equipment from the woman’s brain. “We have a code black situation. Anyone who wants to leave is welcome to.” The nurses look around at each other. “Going once.” Nobody moves. “Going twice.” Again, nobody moves. “Three times.” The OR remains still.

 

The surgeon – Doctor Akirl if Keith’s memory serves correctly – looks back at the nurse. “Are you sure they said code black?”

 

The nurse wilts under the intense gaze but his answer doesn’t change. “Yes.”

 

**

 

Shiro’s job was going great, the Akori children are really rather sweet to talk to and he finds the healthier one’s antics adorable. But now, he’s been assigned to gather supplies from the ground floor and the elevator is taking twice as long as it should because it’s stopping at _every_ goddamned floor.

 

It stops at the second floor and Pidge gets on. Shiro is suddenly thankful to see a familiar face. “ _Hey!_ ” He calls at her and she turns around.

 

“Wha- Oh, Shiro!” She sounds tired, her uniform is covered in spots of blood.

 

“That’s not yours, is it?” He asks gesturing to her chest plate.

 

“No, thank god.” She responds. “Do you know what’s going on? What’s a code black?”

 

Shiro frowns. “A what?”

 

“Code black? The nurses are evacuating non-essential people and I guess that includes me.” Pidge frowns dejectedly. “I wonder what’s going on? Do you think it’s something bad?”

 

The elevator stops at the first floor and Hunk gets on. “I thought you were on the third floor?” Pidge asks.

 

“I was, they sent me down here to help out because they had it covered.” Hunk responds.

 

Shiro turns to face him. “Do you know what a code black is?”

 

Hunk looks back out to the door. “I know it’s something serious.”

 

The elevator doors open on the ground floor and everyone is pushing their way out. The room is almost completely filled with people, people are pushing and shoving their way around while some nurses and doctors are trying to calm people down. There’s a group of people who look an awful lot like police officers trying to herd people out. Simply put: the room is in chaos.

 

“You got that right.” Pidge mutters under her breath.

 

**

 

“So, I’m touching live, unexploded ammo?” Marje says quietly.

 

“I’m afraid so.” Doctor Kaashi replies softly, keeping his voice calm to not distress Marje.

 

“Huh.” Marje sighs. “Not the greatest feeling in the world.”

 

“No, I guess not.” Doctor Kaashi smiles gently at her, trying his best to be reassuring but probably failing. In a situation like this, there is no way to remain one hundred percent calm anyway.

 

“Is she still out? Why is she no longer connected to the machines?” Marje asks.

 

“I had Doctor Sarki take her of the ventilator. The flow of oxygen posed a danger. The ambu bag is breathing for her now.” Doctor Kaashi responds.

 

Marje nods and looks down. “What if I just take my hand out quickly?” Her voice is raised and panicky, she looks right on the edge of bursting into tears, she’s starting to hyperventilate again.

 

“We’ll have to ask the bomb squad when they arrive, but I’m guessing that would cause the ammo to shift and explode.” Doctor Kaashi tells her the truth, because he doesn’t see the point in lying to her. There is a very real chance they could both die in that OR and they both know that.

 

“Oh.” Marje says in an impossibly small voice.

 

“Marje, your hand is keeping this patient from bleeding out. You are keeping her alive.” Doctor Kaashi says, Marje nods her head and smiles softly.

 

“Right. And the bomb squad is coming.”

 

“The bomb squad is coming.” Doctor Kaashi confirms.

 

**

 

“You’re saying there is a bomb in someone’s body?” Shiro asks, lips pressed tight and arms folded over his chest.

 

“That is exactly what I’m saying.” The nurse nods. “You should get out of here while you can.”

 

Shiro frowns. “We’re not leaving. Not until everyone here is safe.

 

“It’s your funeral.” The nurse says with a shrug, before turning and walking away.

 

“Well.” Pidge huffs. “Where the hell are Lance and Keith?” Shiro pauses, amid all of the commotion he’s forgotten to check the whereabouts of his teammates, he groans internally.

 

“I have no idea. Hopefully they’re not doing anything stupid.” Shiro mutters as a nurse ushers them towards the centre of the room.

 

“Well the bomb squad just arrived so they’ll probably be sent down here soon.” Hunk says, pointing towards where a group of individuals covered in armour and holding large black boxes have just entered the hospital.

 

“I hope so.” Shiro mutters, mostly to himself but the other two paladins still hear it.

 

**

 

Lance is just starting to reach an unhealthy level of boredom when the elevator _dings_ open and the bomb squad step out. One – obviously the leader – introduces himself as Cirel.

 

“You’re the surgical team?” Cirel asks.

 

“What’s left of it.” Sarki responds, uncrossing her arms, and moving to greet him.

 

“Okay.” Cirel turns back towards his team. “Spread out, check the area and then we’ll secure the patient. Has this area definitely been evacuated?”

 

“We believe so.” Lance replies, joining Sarki in front of Cirel.

 

“Okay, where’s the patient?” Cirel runs a hand through his long hair and Lance can see the stress in his features.

 

“Doctor Kaashi has them down that hall.” He points to show where he means.

 

“Okay. You stay here, nobody moves until I say so, alright?” Both Lance and Sarki nod, and Cirel nods back, before turning down the corridor towards Doctor Kaashi’s OR.

 

“We’ve got people over here!” Someone calls out. Lance freezes, _there are people down here?_ Cirel turns back towards them.

 

“I thought you said this area had been evacuated?” Cirel snaps, Lance flinches at the anger in his voice.

 

“We thought it had.” Sarki says. “We’re not in charge here or anything.”

 

Lance hears an all too familiar voice in an all too familiar tone. _Keith_. He can hear the red paladins shouts from here and pushes past Cirel to see what’s up. Keith is stood, blocking the door to the OR and shouting.

 

“Keith?” Lance half shouts to be heard over Keith. Keith’s head snaps up, before he turns back to the bomb squad guy.

 

“Back off.” The red paladin snarls.

 

“Oh no! Hey, dude, back off. He will hurt you.” Lance pushes himself between the bomb squad guy and Keith, not entirely sure which one he’s talking to.

 

“Lance,” Keith hisses. “What’s going on?”

 

“Bomb in a body cavity.” Lance replies with a shrug before turning his attention back to Cirel.

 

“This OR needs to be evacuated. We have live ammunition on this floor that could blow up at any time.” Cirel says, sticking his head into the OR.

 

“And I have a patient on the table who I refuse to let die.” The doctor says sounding every bit as frustrated as Lance imagines he would be.

 

“Well then you close her up. You do whatever you have to do. The chief of this hospital has authorised me to order you to evacuate.” Cirel replies, something clatters from inside the room, and a young woman runs out and past them, followed by a middle-aged man.

 

“I made an oath to protect the Akori people. I’m not going to run away from that. Everyone else is welcome to go but, bomb or no bomb, I’m staying. Now get out of my OR.” Cirel closes the door. It opens a few seconds later as the majority choose to move out of the OR, a few stay and Cirel closes his eyes and huffs in frustration.

 

Cirel turns towards Keith, “You are too hot headed to be down here.” He gestures towards part of the bomb squad. “Escort him out of here.”

 

“And Lance gets to stay?” Keith half shouts as the bomb squad guy grabs the top of his arm.

 

“Lance is the one who worked out it was actually a bomb. He has every right to be here, if he chooses to stay of course. You do not.” Sarki says, Lance’s eyes widen in surprise and appreciation for his new friend. She turns to him as if questioning whether he will stay.

 

Lance thinks about his family on earth, he thinks about his duty as a paladin of Voltron. He thinks about the feeling he still has and the promise he made to Carie all those hours ago.

 

“I’m in.” he says.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Keith groans, letting the bomb squad lead him away.

 

“That’s your role, Mullet.” Lance laughs and Keith rolls his eyes, it’s familiar enough that for a split second, Lance forgets that there is a bomb just one room over. “I’ll try not to.” He murmurs.

 

**

 

Doctor Kaashi looks at the scans, memorising every detail and trying to decide which way would be best to tackle this with minimum casualty. After sending Sarki and the blue paladin into the room in his place, the doctor had become increasing stressed for the welfare of his patients, and his team. He wonders, briefly, if this is how they die. Blown up in a hospital, a place that is supposed to be safe.

 

“There is no telling how dangerous this is. We need more information.” Cirel says, cutting off Kaashi’s train of thought.

 

“But the longer we wait, the greater the chance she will bleed out and die.” He replies.

 

“I know.” Cirel says, and they come to an understanding. _Do what must be done, for the good of the people._

 

**

 

“Pink mist.” Marje says.

 

Lance frowns. “What?”

 

“That’s what they call you, isn’t it? When you blow up? Pink mist. I read that somewhere. The bomb goes off and anyone in range just explodes into a billion pieces. You’re liquid. Nothing left.” Marje is crying now, a fat tear drips down her face and Lance becomes aware of how much she is shaking. “Just flecks of flesh and blood. Pink mist. Sometimes they don’t even find a finger. One minute you’re a person, the next you’re just bloody rain.” She’s sobbing now, hand twitching in the body cavity.

 

“Marje, you need to calm down.” Lance says quietly, placing a comforting hand on her arm and subtly trying to stabilise her shaking arm.

 

“I have children.” She mutters, “I need to be there for them, I can’t die, not here. Not today.”

 

“Marje, you’re not going to die.” Sarki whispers, looking completely out of her depths.

 

“You don’t know that.” Marje mutters, tears dripping freely onto the ground below. Her face is flushed red. “I can’t do this much longer.”

 

**

 

“You’re wearing the same style armour as the other one, Lance I think his name was.” Someone says, grabbing hold of Hunk’s arm. The woman has clearly been crying recently and still looks really distressed. “Do you know anything about my girlfriend? Do you have an update? Lance said he’d come back with an update soon but he hasn’t yet and that was two hours ago.”

 

Shiro glances at Pidge and Hunk. “What happened?”

 

“My girlfriend went down for surgery and I want to know she is okay.” She says.

 

“Okay,” Shiro says. “What’s your name?”

 

“Carie.” She’s crying again. “I just want to know that she’s okay.” Shiro looks to Pidge and Hunk for help but both of them look just as lost. Shiro opens his mouth to spew some comforting words when Keith runs up towards then panting for breath.

 

“Lance is down there.” He wheezes out. “Lance is staying with the bomb in the body.”

 

“What? Why?” Pidge asks nervously.

 

“He’s the one who worked out it was a bomb and now he’s staying. Down there.” Keith gestures downwards. “With a fucking _bomb_.”

 

“You’re sure?” Shiro asks, to make sure his team doesn’t burst into an operating room unnecessarily, which he is certain they would.

 

“I literally just saw him. They wouldn’t let me stay.” Keith says, his voice is raised which gives Shiro an indication of just how worried Keith is.

 

“We’ll go. Pull rank as paladins or _something_ , right? To get lance out of there?” Hunk asks, his hands are shaking.

 

“We can’t. You know that.” Shiro says and he hates it but it’s the truth. They _can’t_ just burst into an operating room because they don’t have the authority. He doesn’t want to be the one to put them all in danger.

 

“Oh, screw what we know.” Pidge mutters, storming past Shiro in the direction Keith came from. Keith and Hunk follow with apologetic glances at their leader and, filled with resignation, Shiro turns and walks after them.

 

**

 

“I think I’m going to take my hand out now.” Marje mutters with a shaky voice. Lance’s thumb is rubbing soothing circles on her exposed skin just above where her hand is in the body. “I don’t want to die.”

 

**

 

“This might not be as bad as it seems, her hand is in there holding the bomb steady.” Doctor Kaashi says, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

 

“Or her hand is simply in there with the bomb. We don’t know.” Cirel replies, tone curt and showing his frustration with this whole thing.

 

“We just spoke to the girlfriend. They used a bazooka they found near the courthouse. It could be unstable or damaged for all we know, it could even be a dud but we don’t know. Add in that we have a surgeon in the room next door refusing to leave and a nervous, inexperienced, woman’s hand in the body cavity.” The door creaks open as the second in command of the bomb squad talks.

 

“This is definitely as bad as it seems.” Doctor Kaashi sighs.

 

**

 

Pidge pushes past the person guarding the stairwell with a muttered apology, they let her go. Probably too nervous to try and stop her. The others follow behind her but she’s not paying attention, too preoccupied with worry to care.

 

They reach the lower floor and Pidge pauses, unsure which way to go. She glances back helplessly at Hunk who just shrugs in response.

 

She turns to head down the corridor facing right, when a shout from the left corridor draws her attention because she’d recognise that voice anywhere.

 

It’s Lance.

 

**

 

Marje sobs grossly, tears and snot dripping down her face. Lance remains where he is, holding onto her arm and trying to keep her steady. At some point in the past half hour, he’d had to put on the rubbery, blue nitrile gloves as his hands ended up straying far too close to the wound to be sanitary.

 

“I think I’m gonna take it out now.” She cries, whole body shaking with anxiety.

 

“Marje, you’re almost there, you can do this.” Lance whispers to her, using the comforting voice he used with younger siblings back on earth when one of them was injured.

 

“No, no, no, no!” Marje breathes heavily. “I just want this over.”

 

“Marje,” Sarki says from her position with the ambu bag. “It won’t be much longer, remember that you’re keeping him from dying.”

 

“No! I shouldn’t even be here, I don’t even know her.” Marje gasps loudly. “I have children for quiznak’s sake.”

 

Sarki looks at Lance. “What do we do?”

 

Lance looks at her, looks at the body lying on the table and thinks of the promise he made to Carie to try and help her girlfriend. “ _Help! We need help!_ ” He shouts, hoping to grab someone’s attention, someone who will actually know what to do.

 

A few moments later his team come rushing in, followed closely by Doctor Kaashi and Cirel. The later pauses, looks around at the scene and says, “She’s panicking, we need to clear the room.”

 

Lance frowns. “I’m not leaving.”

 

“ _Lance_.” Keith snaps. “ _Come on._ ”

 

“Doctor Kaashi, get everyone out.” Cirel says. “Lance, you need to go, same for you Sarki.” Lance feels resentment burn his insides, Cirel can get fucked if he expects Lance to leave Marje like this, alone and scared.

 

“It needs to go, I need to get out of here.” Marje mutters, Lance resumes murmurs comforting words into her ear. He’s aware of Cirel trying to get everyone to leave, of Doctor Kaashi arguing with Sarki about whether she should leave, but he doesn’t register any of it. He focuses solely on trying to calm Marje down.

 

“NO! I can’t do this. It need to come out, it has to, please don’t make me stay here.” Marje half shouts, half sobs and it breaks Lance’s heart.

 

Cirel pauses his arguing with the paladins and turns back. “Marje, you need to calm down. You have got to relax. Everything will be fine.”

 

If anything, Marje does the exact opposite of calm down. “No!” She cries.

 

“Marje, look at me.” Lance says, she lifts her tear-stricken face to until she’s looking him in the eyes. Lance can feel everyone watching him, but he doesn’t look. “You can do this. Just a little longer.”

 

She looks at him, wide eyes far too trusting. “Lance, it has to come out. It has to.” She says all in one breath, looking down from his face to stare at the place where her hand is stuck inside this woman’s body.

 

“Marje stay where you are, please. Just a little longer.” Lance pleads, he turns to the paladins. “Get out, all of you.”

 

“Lance we’re not leaving.” Pidge says, standing defiantly.

 

“ _I can’t do this._ ” Marje cries and then she’s moving. Everyone ducks down, throwing themselves to the ground to avoid the imminent explosion. Lance doesn’t even think before he thrusts his hand forwards where Marje’s was. The flesh is warm and he can feel the cool metal of the bomb just underneath his pinky finger. There’s a weird _squelch_ as his hand sinks into the wound.

 

Lance watches after Marje, she pulls open the door, leaving a bloody handprint on the wall as she passes it. _At least she got out_ , he thinks. _She’s going to see her children again._

 

There’s a second of painful silence where his heart is beating too far to even truly comprehend and he feels like he might actually puke, but the it passes and he’s still standing there, ears ringing in the quiet.

 

Keith slowly pushes himself up, followed by the rest of the paladins, Doctor Kaashi stands up and so does Cirel and Sarki and they’re all staring at him, more specifically the area where his hand is inside the body on the table.

 

The blood is warm through his gloves. It’s far too squishy and it’s really bad for his gag reflex.

 

Hunk looks at him, eyes wide. “Lance.” He whispers across the still operating room.

 

Lance sees his team, the fear in their eyes and it hits him all at once; _his hand is on an unexploded bomb inside someone’s body._

 

“What did I do? Oh god?” He says, mostly to himself but the quietness of the room means that everyone hears it. Sarki moves back to the ambu bag, continuing to breathe for the patient, she’s the most calm of them all which is reassuring.

 

Lance looks at the bloody handprint on the wall. “Everyone stay right where they are.” Cirel says, Lance continues to look at the handprint. He hopes Marje is heading home to her kids right now, that would be nice.

 

He hopes Carie gets to see her girlfriend again, that would also be nice.

 

Lance takes a deep breath. “ _What did I do? What did I do?_ _What did I do? What did I do_?” he takes another deep breath. “ _What did I do_?” He gasps harshly, recognises the signs of panic. “ _What did I do_?” He murmurs.

 

His hand feels far too cold to say it’s surrounded by someone’s blood.


	2. rain down and destroy me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If this was your last day on earth, how would you want to spend it?"

_In hospitals, they say you know. You know when you’re going to die. Some doctors say it’s a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there’s a scent, the scent of death. Something. There’s just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming._

_Whatever it is. It’s creepy._

_Because if you know, what do you do about it? Forget the fact you’re scared out of your mind?_

_If this was your last day on earth, how would you want to spend it?_

**

 

The armour Cirel insists on strapping around him is thick, made of a waxy substance that rubs against the exposed skin of his neck. Lance presumes this is the equivalent to a flak jacket, he hopes it’s just as – if not more so – effective.

 

“You realise how stupid that was, right?” Cirel asks while strapping his chest. Lance opens his mouth to defend himself but is cut off by Shiro.

 

“It was Lance. Incredibly stupid.” Lance sighs and looks around at his team. Despite his earlier insistence, they had stayed with him. He appreciates the gesture even if it is stupid of them. Then again, sticking his hand inside someone’s body is seen by them as really stupid too. They’re all on an even keel with making bad decisions.

 

Shiro looks stressed, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. Pidge looks close to tears; her brown eyes are watery and she sniffles every so often. Hunk is actually crying, messy sobs that make Lance want to move to comfort his friend. Keith isn’t moving at all, past staring wide eyed down at the floor. His posture is tense. _I did that_ , Lance thinks with a heavy heart, _I’m the reason they’re all this upset_.

 

“Ok, you know when you don’t need to be made fun of? When you’ve got your hand inside a body with a bomb in it and stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your crotch.” Lance shuffles uncomfortably as Cirel fastens the straps around the tops of his thighs.

 

“Ok.” Shiro says. There’s no further argument, cementing in Lance’s mind just _how_ serious this is.

 

“You’ve really got a sense of irony.” Cirel chirps up from behind up. Lance almost screams because he is _beyond_ frustrated with the bomb squad leader who only seems to be getting more incessant with his quips, as if Lance sticking his hand on a loaded bomb had given the Akorin a full pass for mocking Lance.

 

“Only when things are ironic.” He mutters back. Lance turns to Hunk. “I had a feeling.” Hunk responds with a sigh and a roll of his eyes.

 

“What’s that?” Sarki asks, her position by the ambu bag unchanged despite the ever-present danger, the only difference being the protective vest she now wears. In the fleeting time he’d known her, Lance had learnt enough to gather that she had never been exposed to a life-or-death situation like this. She’s done better than anyone could have expected of her and still continues to remain calm, even when everyone else is panicking.

 

“Nothing.” Lance responds with a soft smile.

 

Any response she may have had is cut off as the door opens and Doctor Kaashi enters the room. Cirel moves away from Lance to stand by the wall, watching intently for any information the doctor may have.

 

Doctor Kaashi turns to look at the rest of the paladins. “It’s time for you to leave.” He says, voice lacking the soft tone Lance had come to associate with him. Almost immediately, there is uproar as his teammates protest the decisions.

 

“I’m not leaving.” Hunk says, crossing his arms over his chest and standing defiant, a fire of determination burns in his eyes.

 

“There’s nothing more you can do here. We’ve got it covered.” Doctor Kaashi gestures towards Sarki and Cirel, who nods back at the paladins in response.

 

There’s another uproar as they protest his words and Lance sighs, he just wants to know they’re safe. That no matter what happens to him, his teammates will be okay. He couldn’t leave Allura and Coran alone, not after everything they’ve been through. And sure, they would grieve his death, but they would get over it given time. “This isn’t just another mission.” Lance says, trying to articulate the importance of the remaining paladins leaving the room. “This is live ammo, that could go off at any time and kill every single person in this room. I don’t want to be the one who caused you all to die. Just _please_ leave.” His voice cracks on the last few words but they don’t comment on it.

 

Shiro looks around at the paladins, then nods at Lance. A mutual understanding passes between them. “We’ll wait by the elevator, but that’s it.” Lance breathes a sigh of relief.

 

“We’ll be fine.” He mutters, mostly to reassure himself, “It’s okay.”

 

Shiro leads the paladins out through the door, Keith follows until the door, then hesitates. He looks back to Lance, eyes wide and showing exactly how scared he is. The red paladin opens his mouth, then shuts it again, as if he can’t decide whether or not to talk. Eventually, he must decide to say whatever is on his mind. “You know how in movies there’s always the heroes, then there’s the other guy. The one who runs away from the danger.” Keith wets his lips. “Be the other guy.”

 

Keith turns around and leaves, not waiting long enough for Lance to respond. He takes a deep breath to try and fight away the tears that are threatening to fall. He turns towards Doctor Kaashi. “You have a plan, right? A way to get me out of here?”

 

**

 

Keith walks over towards the elevator where the other paladins are stood, trying to ignore the nagging voice in his head saying that this is the last time he will ever see the blue paladin. There’s a heavy weight in his stomach that aches for something he isn’t sure if he ever even had.

 

When he reaches the wall, he collapses against it and slides down to the floor. After a moment, Hunk joins him and Pidge quickly follows suit. Shiro takes a couple of seconds longer, but even he joins them on the floor.

 

“I feel like colours are brighter.” Hunk says after a few moments of tense silence. “Does anyone else feel like the colours are brighter?” He leans his head back against the wall with a groan.

 

“It’s adrenaline.” Keith mutters. “Do you have the smell thing? Cause I have like this crazy –”

 

“ _Shut up!_ ” Pidge snaps from besides Hunk. Her voice is higher pitched, she must still be fighting off tears.

 

“Are you okay?” Keith asks, then winces internally at how tactless that was.

 

“ _Of course_ , she’s not okay. How could she possibly be?” Hunk sighs deeply.

 

“God.” Pidge snaps. “Would you two just _shut up_! Nobody cares if the green is greener or if you have super smelling powers. Lance could die. Any minute now he could just,” She takes a deep breath; her voice is quieter now. “die. Actually stop living.” There’s a noise like a muffled sob. “Dead… Corpse.”

 

Pidge tucks up her knees and buries her face, Keith recognises the noises she’s making as laughter. _She’s laughing at this?_ He thinks, and is fully ready to start an argument when Pidge speaks again. “Quiznack. I’m sorry, I just have really inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress. I’m sorry.” She says in between giggles, and Keith relaxes, taking comfort in the fact that everyone else is as stressed out as he is.

 

“Okay?” Shiro says.

 

“Yeah.” Pidge mumbles in response, face flushed red.

 

“Should we like do something?” Hunk asks, his voice is quiet and Keith wonders how he is handling this so well, he’s knows Lance the longest out of them all, been best friends with him for years longer than Keith even knew Lance existed. Surely this must be harder on him than the rest of them.

 

“What would we do?” Keith asks. “Call Lance’s family?” It’s a stupid suggestion, aimed to pick at how _unfair_ this entire situation is.

 

“We are Lance’s family, in space anyway.” Shiro responds, staring down at his Galra prosthetic and shaking his head softly. There’s a few seconds of silence until Pidge starts laughing again, she looks horrified at herself and her face flushes a deeper shade of red. Nobody says anything in the few moments it takes her to get it under control.

 

“I laugh at funerals.” Pidge says, as a way of explanation when she’s calm again.

 

“I don’t go to funerals.” Keith mutters at the same time that Hunk pulls Pidge down into a hug. The youngest paladin tenses at first, as if considering resisting, then she relaxes and crumbles, crying into Hunk’s shoulder. “I was jealous of Lance for being in the emergency room. I thought it would be more interesting and now he might die and I’ve spent the last few hours silently hating him.” She sobs out.

 

Keith watches this all happen, feeling entirely indifferent. A small part of him acknowledges that he may be having some form of anxiety attack, but this also feels like the best way to be. If he’s indifferent, he won’t feel, and if he doesn’t feel, he can’t react to knowing that Lance may die.

 

He’s interrupted from his musings by Shiro placing a hand on his knee. “Lance will be okay, you know. He’s stronger than we ever give him credit for.”

 

Keith just has to pray that Shiro is right.

 

**

 

“Is this the strangest thing that’s ever happened in this hospital?” Lance asks Doctor Kaashi, who’s stood beside Sarki as a constant reassuring force while Cirel has stepped out of the room.

 

“Perhaps not the strangest. The most dangerous though, I think.” The doctor responds after a moment of quiet contemplation.

 

“Good, because I’m very competitive.” Lance laughs nervously. His hand is entirely numb now but he can still feel the wetness of the blood through his gloves and the smell alone is enough to make him want to vomit. Now his team has left, he feels more alone than ever.

 

“All the best warriors are.” Doctor Kaashi replies, smiling softly and calmly at Lance.

 

**

 

Cirel enters the room around a half hour later. He gestures Doctor Kaashi over and whispers something to him. Lance watches them for a second, then turns to Sarki who just shrugs at him. They’re obviously having a heated discussion while they whisper, exaggerated hand gestures and the negative looks on their faces are enough to confirm this. It makes Lance feel anxious. _What won’t they tell us?_

“Stop it.” He mutters after another moment of watching them. Cirel turns back, eyebrow quirked in a silent question, but at least their discussion has stopped. “Stop treating me like I’m a victim. The two of you are looking at me like I’m about to freak out at any moment. I’m not about to do that, so just tell me what’s going on.”

 

Lance expects them to protest, to tell him he doesn’t need to know and take their conversation outside the room. Instead, Cirel moves away from the door to stand in front of Lance. “The main oxygen supply to the hospital runs directly underneath this room.”

 

“Okay.” Lance says, Cirel just stares at him blankly. “Not okay? …Well? I need one of you to explain _exactly_ what this means. Because I have an idea, but I’m feeling very glass half-empty today so I’m not going to trust what I think this means. Because I think this means that if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line, the whole hospital could blow up. And that’s just crazy, right?”

 

**

 

It turns out, his idea isn’t that crazy at all. Now, the entire hospital is at risk, every single person they helped to save today is at risk. Lance wants to scream, he wants to pretend this isn’t happening. More than that, he wants to move his fingers. He’s starting to get fidgety after spending so long still, and although fear is effectively paralysing his entire arm, it’s not stopping his desire to move his hand, ever so slightly.

 

Doctor Kaashi steps forwards from the wall. “Lance, all it means is that we have to move.”

 

“ _Wait._ ” Lance says, jaw dropping open in shock. “You’re telling me that I can’t wiggle my fingers in fear of detonating a bomb, but we have to move rooms? How the _quiznack_ are we going to do that?”

 

Doctor Kaashi looks down and Lance follows his eyesight. _Wheels._ _The table is on wheels_.

 

“You want to roll out the entire gurney.” Lance says, feeling fear settle into his bones.

 

“It’s the safest option.” Cirel replies, looking just as nervous as Lance feels.

 

 _Fucking great_. Lance thinks bitterly. _At least this will be one hell of a story to tell the grandkids._

 

**

 

When the operating room door is pushed open, Keith isn’t sure what he expected to see. Lance walking out unharmed, Cirel or Doctor Kaashi running around looking for some form of information. Perhaps even Sarki leaving the room. He definitely is not expecting to see _this_.

 

The door is pushed open slowly and held open from the outside by one of the bomb squad members, the first thing through it is the edge of a table, then a head. Followed closely by a torso, and a tan hand attached to said torso. Lance looks terrified, his eyes flicker up from the ground to meet Keith’s and Lance shakes his head subtly, Keith stands up anyway. Besides him, the other paladins are pushing themselves to stand.

 

The doorway is easily big enough for the gurney to fit through, but they’re moving really slowly. It’s a few moments later until Keith realises why. “They’re moving the bomb.”

 

When the gurney is turned around fully, they start moving in the opposite direction to where the paladins are. Keith pushes himself off the wall and walks over towards them, slowing down around five feet away. Lance is looking at the floor carefully, so doesn’t notice him at first.

 

“Go over the plan again with me, one more time.” The blue paladin asks, his voice tight and Keith can hear the stress there. Cirel doesn’t take his eyes off the gurney to answer Lance.

 

“The device is shaped like a rocket, roughly eight inches long. We will have everything ready, the surgeons will be ready and the bomb disposal team will be ready. We will need you to move your hand slowly to wrap it around the device and then –”

 

“And then I pull it out.” Lance finishes.

 

“ _Level_.” Cirel stresses. “Pull it out while keeping it level.”          

 

“You know,” Lance utters after a few moments, “I don’t like you very much.”

 

“I’m not particularly fond of people who place their hands on live ammo, so I guess we’re even.” Cirel responds, a biting tone to his voice.

 

At this point, Keith has seen enough. “ _What_ are you doing?” He asks. Cirel’s head snaps up, bright eyes widening in either shock or anger, Keith can’t tell.

 

“Stop!” Cirel shouts. “Stop what you’re doing.” The gurney stops moving and Lance’s head lifts up to look at Keith. “I thought Doctor Kaashi told you to leave?”

 

“We’re moving to a room further away from the oxygen line. You know, in case we go _boom_.” Lance talks over Cirel who just glares silently at the paladins in response.

 

“Just stay over there.” Cirel snaps, pointing down an adjacent hallway. “Stay out of our way. If you get killed, it’s not my fault.” Keith moves down the mentioned hallway, standing a few feet in. Far enough away where he is not in immediate danger but close enough for him to be able to see Lance.

 

“You ready?” Cirel asks, turning back to Lance, who just nods in response.

 

“Tell me something.” Lance says after a moment. Keith raises an eyebrow. “Keith, I have my hand on a bomb. I’m freaking out but most importantly, I really need to pee. Tell me something, _anything_.”

 

Keith thinks for a second, thinking about what he could tell Lance to distract him. “I love you.” He says quietly, Lance’s head snaps up to meet his eyes. The worst part is he’s not even lying. He does love Lance, had liked him since they first met but getting to know and becoming friends with his former rival had further cemented everything. _He loves Lance_.

 

“You love me?” The Cuban mutters, eyes wide and face vulnerable in a way Keith has never truly seen on the blue paladin.

 

“Yeah.” Keith says, for lack of a better response. He catches Cirel glancing up to look between him and Lance. “Mind your own business.” He snaps at the bomb squad leader.

 

“You love me.” Lance murmurs to himself, smiling softly.

 

“Everybody has problems.” Keith mutters, irritated at the lack of response regarding Lance’s own feelings. “Well are you gonna say it back or…”

 

“I could very well get blown up today.” Lance says, voice tinged with sadness. “If we both make it out of this alive, I’ll tell you then.”

 

 _What does that even mean?_ Keith thinks, _does he like me back?_ He thinks for a second about how cruel it would be for Lance to die today. “I’ll be waiting.”

They’re still moving along the corridor when the gurney hits something and jolts worryingly. After a few moments where Keith is frozen in place, too scared to move, nothing happens and Cirel deems it safe to move. “Is everyone okay?” He asks, followed by “Are you ready to move again?”

 

“Yeah.” Lance swallows roughly.

 

“You _had_ to say you were going to die today.” Keith suddenly understands why Pidge laughs when she’s stressed because suddenly everything is _funny_. Lance likes him back and now they might both die because Lance was foolish enough to stick his entire hand inside someone’s body. Who has luck that terrible? Keith, obviously.

 

Lance – stupid, selfless, kind Lance – just shrugs. “I told you so.”

 

**

 

Pidge watches Keith run after Lance, is two steps behind him herself when Shiro places an arm on her shoulder and holds her in place. She turns her head to glare at him and he fixes her with a look that seems to say _I can’t put you in danger_. Suddenly, she understands how terrible this must be for him, how selfish it would have been to run after them.

 

She settles back against the wall. Or at least she means to, because before she can start to get comfortable, there’s a sound which distracts her. A soft sob coming from down the opposite corridor to where Lance is. Pidge pushes off the wall and follows the noise, Hunk and Shiro make no move to follow after her.

 

She walks down the corridor for a few seconds, until the noise sounds again from behind a door. There’s a bloody hand print on the door handle so Pidge settles for just pushing the door open by the wood instead.

 

The room appears to be some kind of washroom, only containing deep sinks with long taps. Stood in front of one of the taps is Marje, there’s water running down the sink, tainted pink by blood.

 

“Hey.” Pidge says quietly, “Are you okay?” Marje looks up at her, the Akorin’s face is streaked with tears and Pidge is with brief thoughts about how similar Akori biology must be to human biology.

 

Marje doesn’t respond, instead she looks down towards the sink where the blood is still running off her hands. Pidge notices a nasty red mark on one hand. “Did you cut yourself?” She asks softly, reaching out a hand to place it on Marje’s shoulder. She isn’t good with physical contact but it seems like the other needs it.

 

“I, I think I fell.” Marje stutters out. “When I was running. It’s okay.”

 

“I’ll go get you a bandage. Stay here.” Pidge responds, trying to think about which room would be best to find what she needs.

 

She leaves the washroom, hearing the door close behind her, and tries the door opposite. It opens to reveal a surgeon, operating on a patient’s brain. “I thought they evacuated everyone?” Pidge asks.

 

“I could ask you the same question.” The surgeon responds, not pausing in his moves. “I’m not leaving this patient to die, which is what the bomb squad wanted me to do. She deserves to at least have a chance to live.”

 

“I’m not leaving my friend to die either.” Pidge says and the surgeon tilts his head at her. “Do you have any spare bandages in here?”

 

The nurse beside the surgeon turns to point at a cupboard near her. “In there.”

 

Pidge mutters a thanks and grabs a few, not knowing the extent of how serious Marje’s injury is. She exits the operating room, leaving the surgeon to do his job. When she returns, Marje has slowed down her crying but is still clearly distressed.

 

Pidge gently moves her hands out from the spray of water, which has been on long enough to have turned cold, and dries them quickly, using a towel she picked up from besides the sink. The blood is still flowing from the cut on Marje’s hand, but it doesn’t look to be too serious.

 

“You might need a few stiches, but I’m not entirely sure how to do those.” Pidge admits. “We’ll need to get someone to look it over for you, but I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Marje nods. “Is there anyone you’d like me to get for you, friends? Family?” Pidge asks her.

 

Marje thinks for a second. “Lance?” She asks, voice rough and scratchy from crying.

 

“He’s still there.” Pidge responds, unsure of what exactly Marje wants to know.

 

“So, he’s alive?” Marje asks and Pidge understands. _She thought she might have killed him_.

 

“He’s alive.” Pidge says, hoping that’s still true. Though she guesses she would have heard if a bomb had gone off down the corridor. Marje sighs in relief before dropping her head forward onto Pidge’s shoulder, arms coming up to wrap around the green paladin. Pidge returns the hug cautiously, but that seems to be all it takes for Marje to break again and she starts crying again, softer this time.

 

“I ran away…” She takes a deep breath. “You always think you’ll be different, you think you’re the kind of person who stays and does something. A hero. I’m supposed to stay and do something cause that’s the kind of people we are, the kind of thing we do. I’m not supposed to run away. I’m not supposed to hide in a bathroom because I left you all to die. _I ran away_.”

 

Pidge rubs her back gently, murmuring comforting words into Marje’s ear. “This wasn’t your fault. Nobody blames you for running away. Besides, by sticking your hand in there in the first place, you probably saved a lot of people.” Marje pulls back from the hug and wipes her face with her hands.

 

“I guess.” She responds quietly.

 

“Are you sure there’s nobody you want to see?” Pidge asks again, now that Marje is starting to calm down.

 

“There’s my children, they should be outside somewhere.” Marje says, sniffling.

 

Pidge holds out her hand. “Then let’s go find them.”

 

**

 

“We’re ready when you are.” Doctor Kaashi says as the gurney is settled in the operating room, far enough away from the oxygen line to not pose any threat to the rest of the hospital and also in a suitable enough position so that the entire hospital would not collapse if the bomb went off. They’ve made the best out of a terrible situation.

 

“We’re good.” Cirel says, then turns around to face the blue paladin. “Lance?”

 

“Yeah.” Lance says quietly, his voice shakes ever so slightly.

 

“Okay.” Doctor Kaashi nods. “I’m going to extend the wound, ever so slightly, and the bleeding will intensify. If we are going to save this patient, you will have to pull the ammo out immediately.”

 

“But remember to keep it as level as possible while removing it. Nice and easy. No quick movements.” Cirel orders.

 

“Right, nice and easy. Says the guy who doesn’t have his hand on a bomb.” Lance huffs. Cirel has the audacity to laugh at that and Lance glares at him.

 

“Are you ready?” Doctor Kaashi asks, voice filled with compassion, a start contrast from the bitter tone of Cirel.

 

“Do I have a choice?” Lance asks, wishing more than ever that Keith had stayed, even just so Lance could tell him he loved him, even just once.

 

“You have to be ready.” The doctor responds.

 

 _Is he ready_? Lance thinks about that day, the people he loves like family sitting down that corridor waiting for him to return, the man he loves waiting for a confession he might never hear. Carie waiting for a girlfriend she may ever see again.

 

“I’m ready.” Lance says. Doctor Kaashi moves to make the first cut.

 

**

 

“How is he?” Shiro asks as Keith sits down against the wall, he wonders briefly where Pidge went but decides it’s not currently important.

 

“Well he’s not dead.” Keith says, trying to ignore the unspoken _yet_.

 

“How are you?” Shiro asks this time, quieter, more personal.

 

“I don’t know.” Keith replies, and it’s the truth. Whether or not he is okay depends solely on whether or not Lance will walk out of that room alive, so until he knows for definite the safety of the blue paladin, Keith can’t answer that question.

 

 _I’m waiting for you, Lance_. _Don’t let me down now._

**

 

Doctor Kaashi moves his hands away from the wound. “I’m good, he can go.”

 

“Alright now Lance. Take your hand, and wrap it around the nose cone.” Cirel says, rather impatiently.

 

Lance wants to move, but all of a sudden he’s left paralysed with fear. _What if I die?_ He thinks, and almost sobs. He wants to live, more than anything. He wants to be able to kiss Keith for the first time, tease Pidge and cook with Hunk. He wants to see Shiro be happy. Heck, he wants them _all_ to be happy, and that won’t happen if he dies today.

 

Lance doesn’t want to die, not today.

 

“ _Lance._ ” Cirel snaps from in front of him, but Lance can’t move, can’t do anything except fall deeper into this pit of fear and panic he’s building. “ _Lance_!”

Lance reaches up with his spare hand, runs it through his hair. “Tell Keith I love him too.”

 

“ _No_.” Cirel frowns. “You can tell him yourself.”

 

“Just make sure he knows, please. Promise me this.” Lance is pleading now, desperate for Cirel to understand that he _needs_ Keith to know. If Lance is going to die, it’s without any skeletons in his closet. “And make sure that Hunk knows he’s the greatest friend anyone could ever wish for. Tell him to make sure Pidge eats and gets enough sleep and doesn’t get too caught up with looking for her family. Tell him that when Shiro has nightmares, he can be calmed down by soft music, I usually use my iPod. In fact, tell Shiro he can have it. And tell Keith to look after himself, to make sure they all look out for each other.”

 

“Lance,” Sarki looks at him with eyes wide and Lance cuts off his ramble. “You’re going to live.”

 

“But I need them to know, just in case.” Lance is crying now. “I need to know they’ll be okay.”

 

There’s a beeping from a machine beside Lance. “Her pressure is dropping, Lance come on.” Sarki begs.

 

“ _I can’t_. No! I can’t.” Lance hyperventilates. “This is crazy, you three should go. _Please_ I need you to go.”

 

“Nobody is dying today, Lance.” Kaashi reiterates.

 

“Lance, I want you to look at me.” Cirel says, and Lance obeys, turning his head ever so slightly to make eye contact with the bomb squad leader. “I know this is bad, and I know I’m some ass who’s been yelling at you all day. So, you pretend I’m not. You pretend I’m someone you care about, someone you like. Whatever you need. But you need to listen to me.”

 

Lance looks down at the place where his hand enters the body, he sees the blood spreading across the table, dripping onto the floor. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, the beeping fades away into nothing but background noise. When he opens his eyes, the room seems brighter; the colours more intense. He looks up, where Cirel was stood is Keith, smiling gently at Lance and reaching out a hand to rest on his shoulder.

 

“I’m scared.” Lance murmurs, taking in the sight of the red paladin, as if it’s the last time he will ever see him. He looks into Keith’s eyes, the familiar deep purple colour that makes Lance’s heart spasm in his chest.

 

“I know.” Keith says. “You can do this. It’ll be over in a second. You can do this Lance.” Something in Lance’s chest explodes at daydream-Keith’s unadulterated faith Lance will succeed in not killing everyone.

 

“Okay.” Lance looks into Keith’s eyes for any sign of a lie, he finds nothing.

 

“Okay.” Keith replies.

 

Lance looks at the red paladin, he blinks once, twice, three times. The image of Keith fades to show Cirel. He squares his shoulders, a newfound determination burning within him.

 

Lance starts to pull out the bomb.

 

The room is silent. He can’t even hear anyone breathing. To be honest, Lance isn’t even sure if he is breathing. He’s also about ninety percent certain that he’s about to either cry or scream. His hands are shaking. Too much. The room is going to blow up. Lance is going to die. They are all going to die.

 

“ _Gently_.” Cirel whispers and it’s enough to calm Lance slightly.

 

He pulls out more of the bomb, he can see the end of it now. It’s black with purple engravings, far too pretty to be this deadly. Lance pulls some more, aware of how cold his hand feels now that it’s been partially removed from the body. A small part of him is disgusted by that, the rest of him is too drained to care.

 

After a few tense moments, the bomb is free from its confines and Lance is lifting it up. Cirel is stretching out his hands ready for it to be passed on. The bomb is lighter than he expected. Lance can see his hand shaking slightly.

 

Then, he’s passing it to Cirel and his hands are empty. He’s free of the bomb. He’s going to live. Cirel is turning around, the door is held open by a bomb squad member with bright red hair who smiles at Lance as he follows behind Cirel and lets the door close.

 

Lance glances at Doctor Kaashi who nods at him, a look of respect in his eyes. “You did good Lance. You may go now, if you wish.”

 

Lance turns and walks out, not even hesitating. He _does_ have a promise to keep after all, multiple if he counts his promise to Carie, but that’s not his first priority right now.

 

He pauses in the doorway and turns around to face Doctor Kaashi and Sarki, the two people who supported him from the very beginning of this whole ordeal. They’re working silently to try and save their patient. “Let me know how she is, if she lives.” Lance says and Doctor Kaashi acknowledges him with a nod.

 

Sarki looks up and grins at him. “Go get your man.” She winks at him and laughs, Lance leaves the room feeling lighter than he has for a while. The door shuts behind him, a glance to the left shows the paladins sitting beside the elevator, they’re all watching him.

 

Lance glances to the right, Cirel is slowly moving down the corridor, only around seven feet away, ready to pass on the bomb. He watches for a second, eyes transfixed as Cirel edges further and further away.

 

Then, there’s nothing.

 

The ground underneath Lance disappears and he is floating, suspended in the air. There’s silence so strong it envelopes him, everything around him is too _hot_ and he is being eaten alive by the flames. It burns with an intensity he didn’t know could exist and he wants to scream but his body doesn’t seem to obey him and Lance has no choice but to let it happen.

 

Then, just as quickly as it started, it ends. Lance is falling, he hits the ground hard and his vision blurs, fading into black for a second. The world is ringing, everything smells like smoke and nothing seems to make sense. He tastes copper in his mouth.

 

He was going to do something? To tell someone something? But he can’t remember what. _What happened?_

 

There are colours swimming in front of his vision; primarily red but also black, green, and yellow. He knows those colours, or more specifically, the people associated with them. But Lance can’t think past the thick haze that settled over his mind, his thoughts swimming away while he is unable to chase after them.

 

Lance’s ears ring and it’s the only noise he can hear until it fades slightly and he can hear voices. There’s someone calling his name, hands touching him. None of it registers and Lance is _tired_.

 

Lance feels his vision fade and the last thing he feels is a warm hand brushing through his hair.

 

**

 

 

Lance drifts in and out of consciousness as a doctor checks his wounds. Thankfully, they don’t find anything too worrying: in the patches of conversations he hears, Lance learns enough to discover he’s not about to die.

 

He also learns that Allura thinks he is _incredibly_ stupid, Coran is just glad he’s okay, Pidge would have killed him if he’d died and Hunk is relieved more than anything. He doesn’t hear anything from Keith or Shiro.

 

Lance opens his eyes, looking at the white ceiling and the faded walls. There’s movement from beside him and suddenly, there’s a face obscuring his vision. Dark skin and a yellow headband and eyes too soft to truly exist. Then, he’s being crushed into a hug so tight it threatens to cut off his oxygen supply. After a few seconds, Lance manages to coordinate his movements enough to reciprocate.

 

“Careful Hunk. You don’t want to kill him.” Shiro laughs and Hunk sheepishly releases Lance who’s too tired to do anything other than flop down back into the bed.

 

“But he’s awake! And coherent this time!” Hunk practically shouts and Lance groans.

 

“What the hell happened?” His voice is dry and cracked and his throat burns slightly.

 

“You were blown up, _again_.” Pidge chimes in, Lance can see her from the corner of his vision and tries to push himself up on the bed as his memories return. He’s still wearing his paladin armour so he can’t have been out for long. In fact, he’s still wearing the bloody glove from earlier, the flak jacket is gone though. He looks at the glove with distaste before reaching out a hand to pull it off.

 

Someone is thrusting a bin besides him and he drops it in there, then looks up to see the arm is attached to Shiro.

 

“How long was I out?” He asks, curious.

 

“Not long. Twenty minutes, maybe? You have a pretty bad concussion and some minor cuts and burns. But, man, Allura was right about the Akori having advanced technology because they put this cream on your skin and then _boom_ you were healed. Couldn’t do anything for the concussion though so you’ll just have to suffer through that. Apparently the Akori have thicker skulls so these are really rare or something like that.” Pidge rambles. “Oh, and Marje got to reunite with her children. It was cute, if you like women crying and children. Which I do not. So… yeah that’s pretty much a summary of what you missed.”

 

“Oh.” Lance says, his head is still ringing and his vision is still blurred slightly. “How are Doctor Kaashi and Sarki? They were down there when the bomb exploded?”

 

“Oh, they’re fine. The hospital has pretty solid walls.” Hunk replies.

 

“What about Cirel and the other guy?” Lance asks. The three paladins sat by his bed share a look and Lance feels his stomach drop.

 

“They didn’t make it, Lance. I’m sorry.” Shiro places a hand on Lance’s knee, offering comfort but it has no effect.

 

“Pink mist.” Lance mutters, frowning.

 

“What?” Hunk asks.

 

“Something Marje said to me. When you blow up in the bomb squad they call you pink mist because it’s all that’s left. Just a cloud of bloody rain.” Lance hears his voice crack. “Cirel deserved to be better than bloody rain.”

 

“He was an ass.” Someone says, standing in the doorway. Lance looks up and sees Keith.

 

“Yeah, but it was because he had to be. As part of his job. We were best buds deep down.” Lance says, joking softly despite the crushing ache in his chest.

 

“I literally heard you say you hated each other.” Keith moves to sit at the opposite side of his bed to the other paladins.

 

“Just a bit of friendly banter. Besides,” Lance frowns softly, the smirk wiped off his face. “when it mattered, he was nice. He was caring and supportive and _he didn’t deserve to die_.”

 

“I know.” Keith murmurs.

 

“ _He didn’t deserve to die_.” Lance repeats and that’s all it takes for the damn to break. He sobs messily and grips the blanket covering him, there’s movement and someone is hugging him. Black hair and pale skin and words whispered in a soft voice reserved specifically for Lance.

 

Lance holds onto Keith and cries until he’s drained. And then he cries some more because this isn’t _fair_.

 

But really, who is he to decide what is and isn’t fair?

 

**

 

When Lance has calmed enough to raise his head from Keith’s shoulder, he becomes aware of two things. One: they are completely alone in the room, the other paladins probably having left sometime while he was crying. Two: Lance is covered head to toe in assorted dirt, blood, dust, and grime.

 

He feels disgusting and he can’t imagine that he looks any better.

 

Keith seems to pick up on his discomfort and stands up, reaching out to grab Lance’s hand and helping him off the bed, muttering calming words of encouragement that Lance is too tired to completely understand. He’s leading Lance down a corridor he doesn’t recognise and inside a large cream coloured room, the floors are tiled and there’s a large shower on one wall. Keith locks the door behind them and twists the shower on, warm water shoots down.

 

They’re both fully clothed still, wearing their paladin armour sans the helmets, and clinging to each other. Lance wants to laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing is, but he’s too exhausted to do anything other than comply when Keith starts pulling off pieces of his armour and dropping it in the shower, letting the water rinse away the muck.

 

When Lance is left standing in the black body suit, Keith pulls back and faces him. Then, he grabs a wash cloth and starts running it over Lance’s neck. Lance looks down and sees the dirt and blood swirling down the drain.

 

Keith’s attentiveness makes his heart swell with longing and Lance gets the urge to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. So, he does, bringing his hand to rest on Keith’s neck, just below his jaw. And then he’s leaning in and brushing his lips gently against Keith’s.

 

He pulls back, facing Keith. “I believe I owe you a confession.”

 

“I believe you do.” Keith smiles as he runs the washcloth over Lance’s face.

 

“I love you.” Lance watches as Keith pushes him back gently until his head is under the flow of water, washing the dirt out of his hair.

 

“I love you too.” Keith says as he reaches for a bottle of shampoo.

 

**

 

Lance stands outside the doorway to the room, too nervous to enter. He’s wearing his casual clothes and his hair is mussed from him running his hands through it repeatedly.

 

From the end of the corridor, Keith is watching on. He raises his hands in a thumbs up and nods his encouragement. Lance takes a deep breath, steels himself, then pushes the door open. In the room, sits Carie watching her girlfriend sleep. When the door creaks open, Carie snaps her head around to look at him.

 

“Lance?” She asks, quietly.

 

“That’s me.” Lance replies. There’s a second where she stares at him so intensely he thinks about running away, then she’s hugging him; arms wrapped around him so tightly Lance feels like he might suffocate and crying softly into his shoulder.

 

“Thank you.” She sobs, Lance hugs her back.

 

“How is she?” He says when Carie pulls away, gesturing towards the girl lying on the bed. “You know, I spent all that time with my hand inside her body and I don’t even know her name.” He adds as an afterthought.

 

“She’s doing great! She should be waking up at some point in the next few hours.” Carie says, eyes wide and mouth turned upwards. “Her name is Meri by the way.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Lance replies, fingers absentmindedly playing with a loose string on his hoodie.

 

Before Carie can say anything else, the door opens and someone calls out. “Well look who it is.” Lance turns only to see Sarki stood in the doorway, she smiles at him softly, long hair flowing down around her face now, instead of the tight bun he was used to seeing her in. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

 

“Me too.” Lance says as he stands up. Shiro had told him he had five minutes but that time had quickly ran out. He’s almost sad to be leaving. “I’m glad we’re all okay.” Lance says quietly.

 

Sarki nods. “Me too.”

 

**

 

Lance is staring at the ceiling in his bedroom, contemplating the events of the past day, when his door slides open to reveal Keith. The other paladin looks as exhausted as Lance feels.

 

“Hey.” Lance says softly.

 

“Hey.” Keith says, remaining stood in the doorway. His face twists into a more serious expression. “You almost died today.”

 

“Yeah. I almost died today.” Lance says, because it still doesn’t feel real. Even though he will never fully be able to clear the memories of the blood or the fear he felt from holding the bomb, it still hasn’t properly sunk in that it really happened.

 

Keith stares at Lance for a long period of time, before turning, as if to walk out of the door. “ _Stay_.” Lance calls out after him and Keith pauses, before turning back around. “Okay.” He mutters, crawling into the bed besides Lance and lying on his back, their shoulders touching.

 

“All I could think of, when they wanted me to pull the bomb out, was you. Your stupid face and mullet and that ugly cropped red jacket, but all I could think was _I’m going to die today and I never actually said how much Keith means to me_. How freaking pathetic is that?” Lance says into the night after a few moments.

 

For a while, it’s quiet enough where Lance thinks Keith has fallen asleep. Then, there’s a quiet whisper from his side.

 

 “I’m glad you didn’t die today.”

 

**

 

_If this was your last day on earth, how would you like to spend it?_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! leave kudos/comment if you enjoyed!!
> 
> consider buying me a coffee here pls: ( http://ko-fi.com/tiredlance )


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